Put Your Ego On The Shelf

As a creative, your ego is your biggest enemy. And it is easy to say but I do not have an ego, let’s not do that. Your ego is there, quiet, grinning, willing to show itself to you in scary ways when the day comes. The ego comes along as an undeniable complete package with your gifts.

It takes a certain amount of pride to create in the first place.

You believe so much in yourself and your imagination that you have created and developed this thing and expect people to welcome it, gobble it up, believe in it, see it and look at it as wondrous, debate, talk about, critic and enjoy it.

And though it comes side by side with varying amounts of fear and trepidation, the pride is always usually there, lurking — sometimes, silent — other times so loud, it drowns everything else out.

Your talent is not your identity and your accomplishments are not your worth

It is very easy to slide into a place where you get over invested in your own work and infatuated with the things you create. And while you should always have that belief in the things you put out, (do not put things you do not believe in out for people to consume), like a little cancer worm, the ego can take over — enveloping your entire being, drowning everything else out. That way, there is no space for other voices because you are a GENIUS.

Creating is collaboration.

One of the things I love the most about working in TV is how you get to work with others from the jump. As a creator, I have created ideas for TV shows that morph into something else when held up to the light and put through the wringer, with the x-ray vision of my co-collaborators in a writers’ room.

There is joy in seeing your work morph into something better, in-fluxed with ideas you can not think up by yourself, in isolation. It takes humility for you to embrace those new ideas and stir them into the soup, putting aside language like that is not my vision, which is just toddler speak for…

…this is my toy, MINE! Leave it alone.

I am not saying you should squash your ego entirely or that it is even possible, the idea is to feel just a little less special about the story you have told yourself about the things you have created so that you are able to accomplish the bigger things you have set out to achieve.

And the truth is, you cannot accomplish anything alone.

Knowing how to evaluate your ability is one of the most important skills in life and in creating. Knowing what your skill set can provide, what areas people are better, and how having them listen in, read and question your ideas can help you develop, is the goal.

I have wonderful skill in dramaaaaaaaa. I can do drama, romance and twistyturnies. I enjoy creating plot twists that make people’s jaws drop, I enjoy making people gasp with awe and wonder, I can do dark tales, I love happy endings and sad, hurtful, painful, heart wrenching storytelling, that is my forte and that is where I thrive. I have created a beautiful balance in the middle of dark and happy, light and darkness, death and the circle of life and in those areas, I am a GENIUS…

…but you see action and pishaun pishaun? Bazookas and Karate Kicks? Helicopters, Super Cops and Espionage? Miss me with that.

But when the work calls for it, what do you do? You admit to yourself that this is not where you thrive, you listen to people who have blossomed in those areas and you submit your work to the scrutiny of these sharp minds.

It is in submitting yourself and your work to people that you learn to constantly put your own ego aside. You teach yourself not to argue, you teach yourself to listen, you train yourself to accept feedback and suggestions and use them to improve the work you have planned to put out.

Do you have people you listen to? A circle you can share your work with, and have them tell you — here is how to make this stronger — I think this part could do with this drop of magic, let me shower this part of your work with fairy dust. Or are you too full of pride to be questioned?

Do you believe you still have something to learn from others or that you have reached the peak?

Letting your ego get in the way is an amazing way to delude yourself, tell yourself lies that what you have created is brilliant from the jump, and in a writers’ room, you will perish.

When you sit down and have your pitches subjected to the criticism of your Peers, the Network Executives, Production and Your Head Writer. You learn a little humility on the way, you learn to be gracious with feedback, you develop yourself on purpose, you learn to speak less and listen more.

Every time I am in a writer’s room and I see someone who argues more than they listen, I smile — Oh, A newbie.

There is no other way to show that you haven’t gotten used to this yet than being an argumentative, defensive arguer. But you will learn.

You want to create? Prepare to be a collaborator. You want to be a collaborator? Then put your ego on a shelf.

Recommend the video below for your enjoyment and development.

As people who create for an audience, when your ego is evident, there is a tendency to start to despise the audience for whom we create. Especially when we are criticized.

A man is worked upon by what he works upon — Frederick Douglas

Take your ego and bury it, take your ego to your backyard and shoot it dead. Especially when you are walking into a collaborative process with other creatives.

Having that ego is expected as a creative, but in other to push out something of worth, carry these three with you — humility, diligence and a good dollop of self awareness.

Happy Writing!

Apologies for not posting as often as I said I would, work got crazy, will be better.

Toodles.